On Defeat
I have seen and heard a lot of comments about Cam Newton’s
post-Super Bowl Press Conference. Most people have characterized his press
conference as “disappointing,” “inappropriate,” “rude,” or “revealing.”Please allow me to offer an alternative view.
There is an old saying, “Don’t judge a person until you have
walked a mile in their shoes.” Precious view of us have ever even worn cleats
in a real football game, let alone in the NFL, and even fewer have ever run a
“mile” in the Super Bowl. I am not sure there is any greater high or low in
sports than winning or losing the Super Bowl, with the possible exception of
competing in the Olympics. Time and time again, it has been the team that is
the most emotionally prepared for the Super Bowl that wins. Teams that have
been there before are often assumed to have an advantage. Butterflies in the
first quarter have dictated the outcome more often than not. Can anybody forget
the snap whizzing by Peyton Manning’s head for the opening play two years ago?
If there is anything worse than having a terrible season in the NFL, it is
going to the Super Bowl and losing. I have been excited to see my San Diego
Chargers get to the playoffs for several seasons, but, in the back of my mind,
I knew they did not have what it takes to win the big one. Secretly, I was often
relieved when they did not make it. The one time the Chargers made it to the
big dance, they got beat badly—so badly I have erased the experience from my
head.
So, what’s my point? Cam Newton’s disappointment—however
much it was in itself disappointing—is certainly understandable. Especially,
after his team went 17-1 in the regular season, dominated the playoffs, and he
earns the MVP award. It had to be a crushing defeat.
When Fritz was wrestling, I took a great interest in the
sport. A sport his great grandfather excelled in, but I had aggressively
avoided when I saw a friend get a nasty case of cauliflower ear. I read a story
about wrestling from an Iowa wrestling coach, and, yes, Iowa is the wrestling
capital of America. He talked about the grueling conditioning required, the
challenges of making weight, and then having to compete while dehydrated and
with little or no energy reserves. He talked about the fact that teams could
always comfort each other in loss, or one could attribute a loss to another
teammate’s failure, but in wrestling (and other single player sports) losing
was a failure each competitor owns singularly. Moreover, when you lose a
wrestling match, it is one of the most humiliating forms of defeat that the sporting
world has to offer. Think about it. In the natural world, how do predators
display dominance over their prey and even their own family group? They roll
their opponent over on to their backs, hold them down until the opponent
submits—they pin their opponent. You lose a wrestling match by either getting
pinned, or rolled over onto your back so many times the opponent out scores
you. As Fritz used to say when he lost, “I got owned.”
Well, Cam Newton got owned in Super Bowl 50. No two ways
about it. He got sacked 6 times, had the ball wrenched from his hands leading
to a touchdown, he got hit and thrown to the ground many more times than I
could count. It was like no other game he played this year, and it was humiliating.
It would be for anyone. And for the record, he is certainly not the first Super
Bowl competitor to look and act defeated after a humbling experience like that.
The Bible says, “To whom much is given, much is expected.”
(Luke 12:48) Cam Newton certainly could have shown more grace in defeat. But,
honestly, how many of us ever do that? To his credit, he acknowledged that
Denver out played them, played better than them, that the Panthers missed
opportunities, had their chances, and turned the ball over too many times. Then
he left abruptly to lick his wounds.
I learned, while I could easily share in Fritz’s wrestling
victories with him, he needed time and to be alone to process his losses—he
needed to lick his wounds. If I left him alone, he would quickly rebound; if I
pressed the issue, his defeat would get the better of him. Fritz and I both
learned from those experiences.
Politics has much in common with sports when it comes to handling
losses. I have been a political operative for 30 years. I have managed ballot
initiatives, helped elect State Reps, State Senators, three U.S. Congressmen, a
U.S. Senator, and even a U.S. President, but I have never put my name on the
ballot. As an operative, I could rationalize a defeat by pointing to the candidate’s
shortcomings or errors they committed. When you put your name on the ballot,
you have only the mirror to gaze at when you lose. And, ironically, it seems
that Monday-Morning Quarterbacks are more prevalent in politics than football.
It can be said that adversity is a great teacher. It can
make you stronger, or it can crush you. It builds character, or reveals it. It
can produce humility, or it can be the fall that goes before a haughty spirit
(it is destruction that goes before pride) (Pro. 16:18). Wisdom is a gift from
God, but unfortunately, most of us have to get knocked down a notch or two
before our pride gives way to humility before God, and we actually ask for the
wisdom that God gives liberally (James 1:5). Cam Newton got knocked down more
notches last night that many of us have likely experienced in a lifetime. His
ultimate response to adversity will be played out over the coming months and
next season. His mother raised him to know God, and God has certainly blessed
him with tremendous gifts. I believe and hope he will react more appropriately
to adversity. In the meantime, I can allow some forbearance for his response
last night because I have some empathy for what he experienced. FYI: Here is a video of Fritz's Senior Year Wrestling Highlights, and, yes, they are all wins because that's what highlights are!
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